Memoirs of a Single Mother

I remember when love was giving someone your last cookie at lunch time.
I remember believing only old couples had babies.
I remember meeting the him that mended the residuals of my soul, and everything feeling right.
I remember discovering how 1+1 could equal 3.
I remember meeting the real him.
I remember 1+1 going back to equaling 2.
I remember wishing, wanting, waiting...
I remember "thump...thump...thump..." - her heartbeat.
I remember the stress that caused the "you need to go to the hospital, you're in labor," even though I was only 36 weeks.
I remember the rush, the bright lights and beeping machines.
I remember wanting the feeling back in my numb lower half.
I remember the pulling, the tugging... the congratulations.
I remember the first time I heard her cry. It was the most beautiful solo ever performed.
I remember touching her, kissing her, holding her and the tube that fed her.
I remember feeling helpless.
I remember going home crying, alone, empty handed.
I remember traveling every day, watching her get stronger.
I remember finally taking her home, extraordinarily scared, nervous, yet excited and proud.
I remember the struggle.
I remember being strong and holding things down because it was what needed to be done.
I remember working two jobs to make sure she was well taken care of.
I remember everything getting better, then worse, then better again.
I remember my family and friends behind us the entire time.
I remember her first smile, her first laugh, the first time she sat, crawled, stood, walked, ran, kissed, the first time she said "ma-ma." - like it was yesterday.
I remember promising myself to teach her to be the best her she could be. I will keep that promise.

I see the beauty that is Erin growing, learning, and loving more with every passing second. I feel her teaching me how to love harder, be stronger, and be wiser with each passing minute. It's been a little over a year, and she never ceases to amaze me. I am a 21 year old single mom who cherishes every precious moment I have with my daughter. This is proving to be quite the learning experience - and I regret nothing.

                                                        Grae